East of California

We all know the myth. American society, some say, is one uniform middle class, with an equally uniform culture. Yet even casual observation shows that this is wrong. Going around Tucson with my lab coat and electronic microscope, I found that homo sapiens sapiens has at least five subspecies here, with occasional crosses.

Studentus: Mostly from out of town and often from out of State, it appears en masse between August and May. Females tend to have dyed blond hair and wear fur boots with mini-skirts. Males favour visible boxers and the backwards cap. Occasionally uses strange expressions, such as "uh-uh" instead of "you’re welcome". Those present in the international trade law LLM are from many countries, except the United States!

Mexicanus: Found everywhere, but not in highly visible concentrations. Hard working, usually owns a shop or an Indian or Greek restaurant. Benefits from some services in its own language, especially that of removal to Mexico.

Midwestus: Tends to be paler than the others. Moved here because it was a better grazing ground, but misses the simple life of Missouri. Tries to forget about the presence of the studentus, mexicanus and hippius.

Pensionus: Present year round, but the population increases during the winter. Burrows in the suburbs near hearing aid retailers. Drives obnoxious SUVs, but kindly volunteers to orient lost studentus at the beginning of each term.

Hippius: Owns a used clothing store on 4th avenue and distributes do-it-yourself impeachment packages for the presidentus. Provides others with organic goods, but may smoke too much of the stock.

Lorsque l’inégalité des conditions est la loi commune de la société, les inégalités les plus marquées ne frappent pas le regard.
- Alexis de Tocqueville